Sometimes I don't even feel like getting anything out, because I KNOW Colt is going to want to play with all the pretty pens & markers... For the longest I was just studying on my phone or a little verse here & there. Becoming a first time mom, I felt like everything I use to do was completely taken away. Bible studying was one of them with self care. Recently, I had a mental struggle that had me feeling like I wasn't enough but with the help of special people I got help & devoted more of my time to Jesus. Making sure I take more time for me, communicating when I'm overwhelmed & excepting that I don't have to do it all. I made it a priority for my kids to get close to Jesus, just not for myself. Now, I've learned to make it more fun for not only me, but my whole family. I'll jam out to some worship music, get Colt some video on or coloring book. This morning while reading Matthew 16, I noticed that I forgot to get Colt situated first... Lets just say I got overwhelmed fast, hard to focus & wanted to just pack it all up. But I remembered my study yesterday on Jesus feeding the 5,000 & 4,000. He was completely heart broken over John the Baptist's death & needed alone time but the crowds needed him. He did not complain or say "later I need a self care day." Jesus valued the peoples need for care over even His own! Remembering that , I got up, made sure Colt was good & busy coloring even colored with him for awhile. Did I get aggravated, yes. Did I still want to study, no. But in order for me to get what I needed done I first had to serve someone else. Becoming a mother has really shown me more of God's graces & acceptance. He loves us even when we get distracted, even when we get overwhelmed & feel like maybe He isn't doing "enough" for us. He just wants the Me time with Him, just like our kids. He wants all our attention & craves for us to serve one another & make them smile. He understands that we need the Me time but to put others first then He will take care of us. He loves you. He knows we need Him. Why do we give any & every excuse to further ourselves from Him? Once you get closer to Him, the days you don't give that time feels like a boring day. I look forward to Bible study, but need to ask help & guidance that the house work & mothering is done with love & He will be my motivation so that I can be selfless like Jesus.
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