Today, is one of my down days. Don't feel like doing anything. Haven't had coffee, stayed on the couch all morning & lots of low feelings today. Really needing something to motivate me & nothing is working. I usually get like this randomly but haven't felt like this in awhile. My blue collar man was home for a week & I really got use to him being home vs having to work extra hours.. He works so hard for our family & takes such good care of us. I am grateful that I get to stay at home to take care of our child. But somedays it can feel so exhausting. When he's home its almost like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. We do everything together, he is truly my best friend & don't know where I would be without him. People that live the blue collar wife life know where I'm coming from. We beat ourselves up most days, feeling like we don't do enough. Do we choose to get all the things done while a toddler tornados through it all or wants to play 900 times. Its so hard to divide my time with such a loving wild child that gets up early & is go go go all day long. There isn't enough hours in the day to honestly get everything done. But somedays even the little things seem so big. Like the laundry.. I can't stand laundry... its never ending & too much waiting. I'd rather mop my floors on my hands & knees than do laundry. Lol. I think we all have that chore we can't stand. But today I feel like I've been pushing everything I need to get done back further & further down the list. All I want to do is sit in a comfy room with some books & read away all the chores. But today is that day I know if I push it any further I'm going to lose my mind looking at the piles of things to do. Anyone else get like that? Push everything back until it's unavoidable. I haven't even been able to read a good book in at least a week. If you know me, you know that's already a problem. But I pushed through at 11, got my Bible out & studied Matthew 22. Still no motivation, so I turned on some worship music & that's where I felt God. Singing along with the music. It might not have been a big moment but I felt loved & like I am enough & that it's okay for me to feel this way because we all have these times but the important part is getting up & trying. Trying to grow with God everyday even when it doesn't feel like much. Just like showing our partners we love them by doing the chores & not having them feel like they aren't appreciated. Even when we have a bad day, trying our best is all that our partner & God is asking for. Thank you God for letting me know you love me even on my bad days & when I don't feel like I've done enough. Thank you to my man as well for motivating me even when I can't find any. Thank you both for being there for me. Thank you God that you gave me such a loving, understanding man that cherishes me how I've always wanted & amazing children that I can take care of. This isn't a cry for pity but me realizing that normal days can sometimes be mentally exhausting. That I prayed for this life & now I have it. To push through & put love in all things I do throughout the day & that my wants can be getting things done so that I can turn my day around. The Lord is the Waymaker making a better Homemaker.
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